From signature hot sauces to developer swag. Gear up with official Lightdash merchandise, or build your own custom sauce.
Our most popular items, hand-picked for you
EXTRA HOT - Carolina Reaper Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. The Carolina Reaper: officially the world's hottest pepper, unofficially the reason your incident response team is on standby. This sauce doesn't just bring heat - it brings a full production outage to your mouth. Heat Level: EXTREME (like dropping the production database) Flavor Profile: Pure, unadulterated regret with hints of fruit Only for: • Those who've survived a complete data centre migration • Engineers who've fixed P0s at 3am and lived to tell the tale • People who genuinely believe they can handle it (you can't) ⚠️ SERIOUS WARNING: This sauce is genuinely extremely hot ⚠️ Do not operate heavy machinery or approve PRs after consumption ⚠️ Keep away from interns, executives, and anyone with a demo in the next hour 200ml bottle. We are not liable for any decisions made while your mouth is on fire.
$16.99
EXECUTIVE EDITION The thinking person's thinking cap. Now with 100% less thinking required. Premium six-panel construction for maximum dashboard-gazing comfort. Adjustable strap because one size fits all is a lie we stopped believing in after our first data migration. Comes with: ✓ One (1) premium cap ✓ Instant disguise for bad hair days caused by 3am production alerts ✓ Brim (for shielding your eyes from poorly formatted Excel sheets) ✓ Street cred at data conferences Does NOT include: ✗ The person wearing it (still not for sale) ✗ His opinions on normalisation vs denormalisation ✗ Protection from scope creep
$14.99
"Currently in containment. Check back never."
USE WITH EXTREME CAUTION. You'll ask "why is it cold?" Because room temperature would trigger a thermonuclear reaction. Contains trace amounts of caesium-137 and broken dreams. Side effects include: temporal displacement, spontaneous yodelling, and an inexplicable urge to argue with pigeons. For full medical disclaimer, consult Ian (if you can find him). ⚠️ NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION ⚠️ DEFINITELY NOT FOR PIGEON CONSUMPTION ⚠️ Store below 4°C or face the consequences
$9999.00
"Oliver ran out of ink. And patience for signing."
MR EDITION Commemorating the greatest title choice in SOC 2 history. Premium 400gsm cardstock immortalising the exact moment our co-founder decided "CTO" was too mainstream. Each card features Oliver's legally binding signature title: Mr. Front side includes: ✓ Name: Oliver Laslett ✓ Title: Mr (as seen on our SOC 2 certificate) ✓ Company: Lightdash ✓ Contact details (redacted for his sanity) Back side features: ✓ Small print: "Yes, really just Mr" ✓ Footnote: "CTO seemed too formal for compliance documents" Perfect for: • Handing out at security conferences • Explaining to auditors that we take compliance seriously (honest) • Reminding Oliver of his life choices • Framing next to the actual SOC 2 certificate Limited edition run of 500 cards. Each one signed by Mr Laslett himself in the same pen used for the original document.
$19.99
"Confiscated by Legal. Again."
For research purposes only. Wink Wink. Generates 50,000 volts of pure data visualisation power. Side effects may include: involuntary muscle contractions, temporary amnesia regarding SQL syntax, and an overwhelming urge to rebuild your entire semantic layer from scratch. ⚡ DO NOT use on colleagues who question your dashboard design choices ⚡ DO NOT use during standup meetings (no matter how tempting) ⚡ ABSOLUTELY DO NOT use on people - Ilonna made us write this bit Legal dept says: "Any resemblance to actual law enforcement equipment is purely coincidental and we cannot be held liable for your poor life decisions." Batteries not included. Common sense also not included, apparently.
$999950.00
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